Hateful Love*
by Lil Ginny
Summary: FINAL CHAPTER POSTED! this is a draco/hermione fic.. but then, ron comes along, draco gets mad. there's lots of passion and angry words. thanks for all the good reviews!! read it!! and don't forget to review!! please review!!
1. Default Chapter

chapter one I had let her touch me. How could I have let that worthless, show-off, bitchy, mud-blood, Gryffindor girl touch me?!? It still stung where her hand had hit my cheek. I wanted to strangle her. I wanted to crush every bone in her skinny, little, under-developed body. I wanted to rip out all of her chestnut hair. To gouge out her hazel eyes.   
"Do you want us to beat up on her?" Goyle asked me, pounding his fist in his palm. Crabbe grinned and nodded his stupid head, his tongue hanging out like a dumb dog.   
"No," I said icily, beginning to gather my dropped quills and scattered text books. She slapped me. How could I have just let her walk away like that, swinging her hips side to side? Her stupid, parent-less, famous Potter and muggle-loving, poor Weasley praising her as she tossed back her hair and blushed.   
***   
I had slapped him. I had totally lost control. But the cheers coming from Harry and Ron felt good. I stood for a split second, watching the stunned look spread across his face. I guess I was a little happy with myself. I took some perverted satisfaction in watching his face flame with anger.   
"Go, Hermione! Good job!" Ron patted me on the back and tousled my hair.   
"Yeah! We didn't know you had it in you!" Harry grinned jumping up and down and cheering. I could hear some Gryffindors clapping. Malfoy's imbecile side-kicks, Crabbe and Goyle, hadn't fully absorbed what had just happened. They stood their , pounding their fists stupidly.   
"Three cheers for our queen, Hermione!" Ron yelled. I blushed, tossed back my hair and looked down.   
***   
"Worthless, mud-blood, beaver-toothed wench," I muttered under my breath. I was sitting with the Slytherins at our table.   
"Dracie! Dearest, darling, teddy bear, sweetums! You haven't touched your roast at all! Are you all right?" Pansy fussed, patting my head and straightening my napkin.   
"The Gryffindor girl slapped him today," Crabbe laughed, tearing his pot roast apart with his knife.   
"You mean Hermione? Forget about that stupid, ugly girl! Why do you even care?" Pansy threw a look of ice towards the Gryffindor table where Hermione was sitting with Potter and Weasley the Weasel.   
***   
    
"And then she raised her hand, and slapped him across his cheek. You should have seen his face!! It was the most glorious sight I have ever seen. He looked as if he was about ready to cry. And then, I pounced on him, and starting beating his brains in, and he was--" Ron was retelling the tale to the whole Gryffindor table, shaking his fists in the air, adding a little of his own spin on it.   
"Ron! I just slapped him! I mean, It wasn't that big of a deal" I smiled.   
"Just slapped? JUST slapped? It WASN'T a big deal?!?" Ron rose to his feet, "It was wonderful! The most wonderful thing you've ever done!"   
"Yeah, Hermione! You showed that stupid, evil, dark-side loving git, Malfoy," Harry said through a mouthful of buttered peas. I couldn't help a grin spreading across my face.   
"Hermione, I'm very disappointed in you. I thought that you, of all people, would have some sense," Percy scolded me across the table. I had the strongest urge to stick my tongue out at him.   
"Come off it, bighead boy," George chortled, flinging a potato at Percy.   
"Our darling doll, Hermione, here, did a great thing. You make me proud! You make all of Gryffindor proud!" Fred pretended to wipe a tear from his eye. I smiled in spite of myself, and took another bite of bread.   
***   
    
"I can't stand that Granger," I said, putting down my quill, and rolling up my parchment. I couldn't concentrate on my Potions essay. I'd make some stupid excuse about feeling sick to Snape, so that he'd let me off it.   
"I can't stand her at all. I'll make her pay, that cow," I scowled and trudged off to the bedrooms.   
***   
    
"And then she raised her hand and slapped him--" Ron was half-yelling to the common room. He was standing on the table and turning very red.   
"Ron! Could you be quiet? I'm trying to read!" I grimaced.   
"Come off it, Hermione! Don't you wanna celebrate? Just for tonight!" Harry tried to grab 'Hogwarts, a History' out of my hands.   
"No! I still have some studying to do and the Potions essay to finish," I said, getting up and going to one of the tables by the fire. I pulled a quill out of my brown, leather satchel and the two rolls of parchment about Silence Potions and began to scribble away.   
***   
    
I lay in bed thinking about how I was going to pay Granger back for what she had done to me. I could still feel my cheek tingle slightly where she had hit me.   
***   
    
I went to bed after finishing my report and reading a chapter out of our herbology book. I changed into my light blue pajamas and brushed my teeth furiously. Walking into the dormitory, I brushed my hair. I pulled the covers up past my shoulders, and lay my head on the pillow. I shut my eyes, but they wouldn't stay closed. I began to fear what Malfoy would do to me tomorrow.   
"And then she slapped him!" I could hear Lavender whisper to Parvati.   
"Come off it, Lavender," I whispered intensely. Lavender, talking in the bed next to mine, looked up at me, waved, and grinned.   
"Hermione! You're, like, my new hero!" Lavender giggled.   
"Yeah! Like, mine, too!" Parvati's shrill, girlish, careless laugh rang through out the dormitory. I couldn't help giggling and laughing myself.   
***   
    
I was walking to Potions when I spotted her. She was standing in front of the door to the dungeon, laughing and talking with Potter and Weasley, twirling a strand of her hair with her index finger. I couldn't get her back now. I'd confront her when she was walking out of potions.   
***   
    
I noticed him while I was standing in front of the dungeon door. He threw a nasty look at me. I twirled a strand of my hair and laughed loudly with Ron and Harry to cover up my fear. Just then, Snape came sauntering in to open the door. The Slytherins and Gryffindors filed into the classroom, taking their seats silently. Snape began to lecture us about Silence Potions and their uses.   
"What are the three essential ingredients to a Silence Potion?" he asked in a greasy, malicious, and an utmost ANNOYING voice. My hand flew into the air.   
"Put your hand down, Granger," Snape sneered. He grinned maliciously as I slowly withdrew her trembling hand from the air.   
***   
    
I watched her hand fly into the air and scowled. How could she know everything? She knew EVERYTHING. I took a sick pleasure in watching Snape chew her out. I almost felt sorry as I watched her trembling hand fall. Ha ha. The key word there was most definitely ALMOST.   
***

"After you hand in your reports, you'll be given partners to concoct the potion with," Snape said, beginning to collect our parchment. I could hear Malfoy making some stupid excuse.   
Ron tried to catch my eye contact. He always wanted to work with me. I grinned with pride.   
"Nobody get your hopes up, on account of I will be choosing your partners," Snape said in an oily voice. A mean smile spread across his lips.   
***   
    
"I couldn't finish my report last night because I felt ill, Professor Snape," I grumbled, trying to sound sick. He nodded and walked off.   
I saw Weasel glance over at beaver-teeth Granger . He always wanted to be with her. Because she knew EVERYTHING. Stupid wench. They were deserved each other.   
"Nobody get your hopes up, on account of I will be choosing your partners," Snape informed us, smiling. He took some twisted delight in watching the Gryffindors squirm. Especially Weasley, Potter, and Granger.   
***   
    
I listened for my name intently, briefly feeling sorry that Ron and Harry were paired with Crabbe and Goyle. Snape had done this on purpose. I shut my eyes and hoped that I would be with anyone but Malfoy. I wished and wished and wished. .   
"Granger! Open you eyes, stand up, and pair up with Malfoy," Snape said icily. My eyes snapped open and I moaned inaudibly. I hated Malfoy with a passion. I don't think I could sustain myself from dropping worm eyes onto his lap.   
***

I laughed as I heard that Potter and Weasley would be working with Crabbe and Goyle. I would probably get paired up with Pansy Parkinson or someone half-decent.   
"Granger! Open your eyes, stand up, and pair up with Malfoy," I heard Snape say. I just about fell out of my seat. Me, pure-blood Malfoy, with that annoying, dirty, Muggle-born girl. Oh well. I decided I'd make the best of it and be as uncivil towards her as possible. I'd just drop some slug hearts onto her lap while Snape had his stupid head turned.   
***   
    
I walked over to him, being careful not let my head hang down. I tossed back my hair and sat down at the edge of his bench, as far away from him as possible.   
"I want you to know that just because we're partners does absolutely not mean we're friends, Malfoy," I said with chilling formality.   
"You wish we were friends, Granger," he responded, pushing his flaxen hair out of his silvery, gray eyes.   
"Stop telling me about your sick, little fantasies, Malfoy," I said, determined not show any signs of my quickly flaring temper.   
"Yes, Granger. You hit it right on the nose. Those are exactly my fantasies," his voice was full of venom. I looked up at him for a brief second, suddenly noticing how honeyed could be when the light shone on it that way. I felt like I was going to be sick when he looked back up at me.   
***   
    
She walked over to me, tossed back her hair, and sat down at the very edge of the bench. I glimpsed at her for a minute, suddenly realizing how nice her hair could be when the light hit it that way. I shook that thought out of my head, as quickly as it had come. How could I have thought that? Then, she interrupted my fleeting thoughts by saying something rude. So this is the game she was going to play with me. . . I said something rude right back.   
"Stop telling me about your sick, little fantasies, Malfoy," she said.   
"Yes, Granger. You hit it right on the nose. Those are exactly my fantasies," I said, pushing a stray strand of hair out of my eyes. I noticed her look up at me, so I just looked right back. I saw something in her eyes that dwindled away as soon as my gaze met hers.   
"Is there something on my face?" I said, taking delectation in her startled expression.   
***   
    
"Is there something on my face?" he asked. I could feel my cheeks turn crimson. I tore my gaze away from his, and fixed my eyes at a slimy, yellowish thing in a jar on Snape's desk.   
"There's nothing on your face, Malfoy. Unless that's a monster Halloween mask you're sporting. A little early to be collecting candy, isn't it?" I said, still looking at the gross thing bob up and down in the disgusting liquid.   
"It's nothing compared to the costume you wear year-round," he sneered.   
"Well, aren't you just the lowest, most vile thing--" I began.   
"Granger! Get to work! Ten points from Gryffindor!" Snape barked, "You should be glad it isn't more. . ."   
***   
  She walked out of potions last, as usual. She always stayed behind organizing her books and picking up her dropped quills. Weasley and Potter would probably be waiting for her outside. I followed her closely as she walked out of the dungeon. My eyes scanned the corridor to make sure no one was around. Potter and Weasley had obviously left. Disloyal idiots. I grinned. All the easier for me. My hand reached out and grabbed her wrist.   
"Malfoy! Don't touch me! Get your slimy, disgusting hand off of me!" she shrieked, trying to wriggle away.   
"Shut up!" I hissed at her, pushing her against the wall, twisting her wrist. She let out a sharp cry of pain.   
***   
  I felt his icy fingers wrap around my wrist.   
"Malfoy! Don't touch me! Get your slimy, disgusting hand off of me!" I screamed, trying to pull my wrist out of his grasp. His grip cut off circulation to my hand. I moaned and tried to get it free.   
"Shut up!" he spat at me, and pushed me against a wall.   
"Oww!" I groaned as he twisted my wrist.   
***   
    
Her small, thin, pretty, white hand flailed around, trying to free itself.   
"Did you think it was funny when you slapped me back there, Granger?" I said barely above a whisper. She cowered back against the wall and closed her eyes. A mumbled answer protruded from her lips.   
"Answer my question, mud-blood. Did you think it was funny?" I bellowed.   
"Malfoy, let go!" she said. She appeared as if she wanted to shrink into the wall.   
"Dammit, Granger! Did you thinking it was funny??" I yelled again, tightening my grip on her wrist.   
"You deserved it!!" she gasped. Her whole body trembled.   
***   
    
"Dammit, Granger! Did you think it was funny??" he yelled. He twisted my wrist again. Shooting pains traveled up my arm. I trembled. I wished that he would let go.   
"You deserved it!!" I gasped. Oh God, I thought to myself, how could I have said that out loud? I opened my eyes and witnessed the stunned look on his face. He slowly let go of my wrist and backed away. I took a deep breath and picked up my scattered books.   
***   
    
I watched her bend down and begin to pick up her books. I looked at her hair, trying to see if it really was all that beautiful. It was spread across her back and wildly thrown across her thin, long face. Hair I wanted to tear out. Such a passionate hate burned inside me that it hurt. Hate for her because she had dirty and impure blood and she was Muggle-born and she was still beautiful. Hate for me because I could actually recognize that she was beautiful. Celebrity Potter or penny-less Weasley couldn't see that. She looked up at me with startlingly bright, hazel eyes.   
***   
    
I had enough courage to look up. I had something really mean and really clever to say to him. However, the moment my eyes met his, I had to bite back my immensely rude and delightful comment. I quickly looked back down, feeling my blood rush to my cheeks, and with trembling hands, stuffed all my books into my satchel. I couldn't stand how his pretty, silvery eyes swam in hate. I wanted to gouge them out with forks and throw them out the window.   
I finally got up. I dusted off my robes, rearranged my hair carelessly, and mumbled something about needing to study.   
***   
    
She said something that sounded like, "need to study". Her fingers were still running through her hair as she walked out of the dungeons. I sighed, clenching my fist. Suddenly, realizing it was lunch time, and that all the Slytherins would miss my obviously uplifting and enlightening presence, I began to leave.   
***   
    
"Where were you? We waited for you for a while, but then we left because the growling in my stomach was growing considerably louder," Ron said as he helped himself to another buttered roll. My spoon swam aimlessly through a sea of chicken noodle soup, every now and then violently colliding with a carrot.   
"I was just staying behind to talk to Snape," I lied. I didn't want to talk about the Malfoy incident.   
"You're bra-a-a-ave!!" Ron replied, piling heaps of vegetables on his plate.   
"Could you believe how he paired us up today? And you, of all people, with MALFOY. I hate that idiot. I know he's connected with Voldemort. Snape, I mean. Well, actually, Snape and Malfoy are both connected with Voldemort," Harry said thoughtfully.   
"Shut up, Harry!! Don't say the name!!" Ron hissed. I looked down at my wrist miserably.   
"I need to go to the library," I said, getting up. My soup was left untouched.   
"Y'know, Hermione, you read too much," Ron said, gratefully pulling my bowl of soup over to his seat. I smiled. There was nothing better then a good book when you're upset.   
***   
    
I watched her get up from the table, and walk out of the Great Hall. Probably going to the library, stupid know-it-all. Teacher's pet.   
"Potions were dreadful today! I got paired up with. . . argh. . . I cannot bear to say the name. I'll spell it out for you. S-E-A-M-U-S space F-I-N-N-I-G-A-N," Pansy whined. She looked as if she were about to vomit.   
"See a moose fin gin nan!" Goyle guffawed. Crabbe began to laugh right along with Goyle. What a stupid imbecile. Excuse me. I mean, what stupid imbeciles. I put down my napkin.   
"There's some studying I need to go catch up on," was my explanation for leaving the table.   
"Are you turning like that mud-blood Granger girl?" Pansy scowled, tugging at my robes.   
"No, there's just a test in my next class, and I think I need some last minute studying. You know that father hates it when my grades are low. He promised me a new racing broom if I brought them up."   
***   
    
I browsed through the inviting shelves upon shelves of books. They seemed to be whispering. I wanted to devour them all. I finally picked up a copy of 'Hogwarts, a History'. I never got tiered of reading the same, dusty, worn, thick volume. Ron and Harry would swear to anyone who'd listen that I could recite the thing backwards and upside down. I laughed.   
I sat at one of the squashy, comfortable arm chairs, opened up the tattered book, and turned it to the first, yellow page.   
" 'Hogwarts has been a sanctuary for. . .' " I whispered the words out of the book to myself.   
***   
    
I walked into the library, looking for a lovely head of goldish-brownish hair among the dusty books. A lovely head that I would just absolutely adore to bash in. I spotted her. She was stroking a book with a black cover lovingly. She put it under her arm, and walked to one of the love seats. She sat down, put her small feet up on the cushion, and buried her nose in the book. I began to walk towards her (I had a very cunning and evil plan, you see) until I heard two familiar voices.   
"Hermione!" one was Potter's. I grimaced. I hated his voice and his stupid scar and his fame and his messy hair and those disgusting, slime green eyes.   
"We KNEW you would be here," the other was Weasley's. I hated that he was poor and that he seemed stupid, but he was actually sort of smart. I hated them both. I watched her look up from her book and smile affectionately.   
"That's because I TOLD you I'd be in here, Ron!"   
***   
    
"We KNEW you would be here," Ron said, sitting down on the arm of my chair.   
"That's because I TOLD you I'd be in here, Ron!" I laughed.   
"Oh no! Ron!! This can't be!! She's reading 'Hogwarts, a History'!!" he gasped and burst out laughing.   
"I swear to you she can recite it--" he began.   
"Backwards and upside down," I finished. I can't help but laugh again. I shut my dusty book and tucked it under my arm. I looked up for a brief second, and I saw two silvery, hateful gray eyes staring back at me. I threw a grimace at him, but he disappeared before he could see it. I hated him so much.   
***   
    
She looked up. Her eyes were fixated on mine, but she tore them away.   
"Why did I even come here?" I mutter to myself. I walk out of the library. Time for herbology anyway.   
***   
    
I had finally eaten. Dinner was so good. I completely forgot about Draco. . . Draco? Did I just say his first name? Malfoy. I meant Malfoy. I completely forgot about Malfoy. I sat down in the Gryffindor common room, pulled out a quill, a vile of ink, and my herbology homework.   
"That's not due till the end of the week, y'know," Ron said, sitting beside me and pointing to my homework.   
"It wouldn't hurt you to work once in a while! Anyways, Snape hinted that we might have an essay due about the importance of Forgetfulness Potion. I want to get started on that right away!" I said, scribbling down thirty uses for Bjorkin Blossoms.   
"He HINTED. . . that means that there just might not be one," Ron sighed, "Oh, gee. Wouldn't that be a real shame?"   
"Boys. . ."   
***   
    
I sat at a table in the Slytherin common room quietly. A green lamp hanging overhead gave off a strangely comforting light. The silver decorations hanging from the ceiling made me forget about the mud-blood girl.   
"Oh, Dracie," Pansy said, stroking my arm and smacking her freshly lip-glossed lips.   
"I suddenly feel sick. I'm going to bed," I said, getting up, "Crabbe? Goyle?" The two lifted their heads at the sound of their names. Well, at least they knew their own names. . .   
***   
    
Oh my God. Potions. I felt like throwing up. I didn't want to face Malfoy after what happened yesterday. I had nothing clever to say to him. Nothing to make his blood boil. My hate for him was inexpressible. Harry and Ron swore that if he tried anything, they'd be on him like two madmen. I still hadn't told them about Malfoy grabbing my wrist.   
"Wish me luck!" I crossed my fingers as I went to sit with Malfoy. He was sitting there, talking to Crabbe and Goyle and laughing about something. I sat down, getting out my ingredient list and beginning to measure out the beetle eyes and slug hearts.   
"Hullo, Granger," he said. I looked up quickly, almost spilling the crushed chicken's toes. He reached his hand out, as if to touch my face, but quickly put it down again.   
***   
    
"Hullo, Granger," I said. She looked up. A strand of her hair fell into her eyes. I smiled softly and reached to tuck it behind her ear. Suddenly, realizing what I was doing, I pulled my hand away. I had almost touched her face. She gave me a questioning look, and got back to measuring powdered chicken toes.   
***   
    
My heart skipped a beat. Why did I have that reaction when he tried to touch me? I felt shaky and weak. It was just fear, I told myself. I was letting fear getting to me.   
"It's Malfoy," I whispered to myself. I couldn't possibly find him attractive in any way, shape or form. These feelings were just. . . they were just. . . misplaced.   
***   
    
She whispered something. I could have sworn I heard my name. I didn't care. I would find some other way to preoccupy myself. I looked down at her hands. They were beautifully thin and delicate. Her fingers were graceful and long. I liked the delicate curve her jutting wrist bone made. The wrist bone I had almost crushed. Not thinking, I snatched her hand in mine and held it there for a moment.   
"You have exquisite hands, Granger," I said, noticing how nicely they fit in mind. They were very cold. They seemed to tremble a little. I put the her hand back on the table and began to choose the different vials we would need to concoct our potion.   
"Don't ever touch me again, Malfoy," she spat, burrying her hand in her sleeve.   
***   
    
"You have exquisite hands, Granger," he said. He was turning them over and over in his own marble ones. My hands began to tremble, and he put them back down. I was turning purple when I suddenly remembered that I had to breathe to live. I took a deep breath and put all the ingredients in neat rows.   
"Don't ever touch me again, Malfoy," I said, narrowing my eyes.   
"Wouldn't think of it," he said nonchalantly.   
"What you did to me yesterday was incredibly rude," I piped up, sticking my chin in the air.   
"What about when you slapped me? Wasn't that rude? And that was actually in public, too," he hissed. I was too afraid to look up at him.   
"But. . . but. . . I don't think I actually frightened you when I slapped you. I mean, you really frightened me when--" I began. Then I stopped. I wouldn't let him see my weakness.   
"I mean, I was so--" I began again, but I couldn't go on. Tears welled in my throat. Why was I acting like this? Why was I being so stupid and vulnerable? I could stand being laughed at, and being shunned by others, but I couldn't stand being stupid. No. I couldn't stand being stupid.   
***   
    
"I mean, I was so--" she said. I looked up at her. Tears shone in her brilliant hazel eyes. Tears made her eyelashes look like the had diamonds tangled in them. I'm glad those tears didn't spill. I hated it when girls cried. It made them pathetic. Especially when mud-blood girls cried. It made them more pathetic then they actually really were.   
"Is poor, baby Granger crying?" I jeered. Her eyes flashed with anger, frustration, and humiliation.   
"Eat scum, Malfoy," she said, her teeth clenched. I couldn't help laughing.   
***   
    
I walked out into the cool night air. The garden was always so peaceful. Almost as peaceful as the library. On lovely, clear nights like this, I liked to go walking outside. Ron and Harry asked me if they should come along, but once again, I pushed them away. I didn't feel like talking to them or anyone. Anyways, they weren't done eating. I grinned thinking about the way those two boys could eat.   
Pretty, shining little fairies were sleeping in roses, making the buds glow golden red and pink. I wrapped the navy blue cape my mother sent around my shoulders. I smiled and sat at a bench by a fountain. The naked, marble cupid looked like he was spitting liquid moon light rather than water. I threw back my head and looked up at the stars. I sighed and looked down at my hands. Something breathed next to me. I spun around and gasped.   
***   
    
She wrapped a midnight blue cloth tightly around her shoulders, sat down on the bench and looked up at the stars. I watched her for a moment, thinking how nice her sparkling, dark eyes were against her pale skin. Her light pink, full lips were spread into a girlish smile. And again, those pretty hands folded on her lap. I hated her so much. How stupid she was, not noticing me until that very moment.   
She spun around. A small gasp protruded from her. The blue shawl dropped from her shoulders.   
"Why is it we're always in the same place when we want to think?" I asked, smirking. She finally regained control of herself and picked up the shawl. She placed a strand of hair behind her ears looked at me for a while. Her face showed disgust and surprise and wonder all at the same time.   
***   
    
"Why is it we're always in the place when we want to think?" he asked. One of his trademark smirks spread across his lips. I just stared, drinking him in. His marble skin, which now looked even whiter because of the moonlight. And his hair. That's what I liked most. It ranged from honey to silvery platinum depending on the way the light hit it. His eyes were lovely, too. He had blonde, thick lashes. I finally realized I'm probably gaping at him with my mouth hanging open, so I picked up my cape.   
"If I would have known that you'd be here, I never would have come, Malfoy," I said, looking away, and folding my arms across my chest.   
"It was your subconscious that led you hear, y'know,"   
"Yeah, Malfoy. I want you," I spat. Surprisingly, he laughed. I turned my head and stared at him for a couple of minutes.   
"I hate you!" I squealed. This only made him laugh more. I felt so frustrated. Nothing I wanted to say came out the right way.   
***   
    
"I hate you!" she screamed. I laughed harder. She was so humorous, trying to act brave and mean.   
"Ooh, that hurt Granger. At loss of words? Is it because I'm here, or are you always spluttering like this?" I grinned malaciously. Suddenly, I put my hands around her waist and lifted her so that she was standing in front of me. I bent down and pressed my lips to hers so that it hurt her.   
***   
  
He grabbed me and stood me up. I looked up into his eyes for a second, barely flinching. He swooped down on me and kissed me. His lips smacked down on mine. It hurt and bruised my lips. I shivered, feeling as if my legs wouldn't support me. Finally, he broke the painful kiss. Things happened so fast that if I hadn't been paying attention, I wouldn't have known what had happened. He pressed me up against him so that it hurt to breathe. My ribs felt as if they were snapping. I don't think it was possible for him to hold me any closer.   
"Malfoy!" I suddenly pushed him away. How could I have let him kiss me? I touched my lips with my finger tips. They ached.   
***

"Malfoy!" she screamed and pushed me away. She brought her fingers to her lips and sighed.   
"How could you have--" she stammered, "Why did you--"   
"What's the matter? First time you've been kissed, Mud-blood?" I said, my eyes raking over her body, "No surprise."   
"Go to Hell, Malfoy!" she shrieked, and ran off, her navy blue cape flying brilliantly behind her.   
***   
    
"Go to Hell, Malfoy!" I screamed. I stood there for a second before realizing that I needed to leave. I ran.   
***   
    
I lay in bed, wrestling with the covers. I couldn't sleep. The look on the face of beaver Granger kept coming to my mind. Her eyes were scared, her lips were parted, just a little. Her cheeks were flushed a bright shade of pink. I needed to go for a walk. I didn't care if Filch caught me. Stupid git. I'd strangle that cat of his some day.   
I threw my blanket off and put my feet on the floor.   
"Draco?" I heard Crabbe whisper groggily.   
"Go back to sleep. . ." I muttered, "This is a dream."   
***   
    
I heard Parvati and Lavender's snores surround me. How could they sleep so peacefully? Thoughts of Malfoy kissing me raced through my mind. I closed my eyes, trying to remember what it felt like. Even though I hated him, no one has ever kissed me before. No one has ever kissed me like THAT. It wasn't a passionate kiss. It was angry and hurtful. I sighed to myself in the darkness.   
"Why did he make me feel the way I did? When he pressed me up against him, I felt as if I had no control over myself. As if my brain wasn't functioning correctly. My legs wouldn't support me, and my breaths were quicker, my heart beat louder. I felt as if nothing could hurt me. . . nothing could. . . Hermione Louise Granger!!! How could you think those thoughts?? You hate him remember? You loathe him. . . he's a treacherous snake.   
"I need to go out for a walk," I grumbled, pushing the covers off my bed. I got up and out of bed, not thinking about Filch or anyone else.   
I swung the portrait whole outside and stepped out into the castle. I could go anywhere I wanted as long as I was careful.   
***

I began meandering aimlessly down the corridor. Each turn I made was a left. I had a thing with left turns. The own sound of my feet shuffling across the stone floors made me jumpy. I listened carefully before realizing that the footsteps weren't mine. Someone was walking towards me. I had no where to go to, nothing to hide behind. I held my breathe and hoped to God it wasn't Filch.   
***   
    
I walked slowly, listening for any Filch noises. That's when I heard them. Footsteps. Approaching. Fast. Frantically, I looked for somewhere to obscure myself from the coming danger. . . I had no where. Where are those suits of armor when you need them??   
***   
    
I stepped back when I saw her emerge from the shadows. I tried to surpress my astonishment, but I could tell she noticed. I let a gasp escape. She stood right in front of me, in all her middle-of-the-night glory. Her hair had just been brushed, so each silky lock hung elegantly. Her eyes were wide and panicked. She had the look as if I had kissed her all over again. The quilt she had wrapped around her shoulders dropped to the ground, near her bare feet. She was wearing a Gryffindor sweatshirt with drawstring, flannely black short shorts.   
"Who in their right mind wears short shorts in the beginning of December? Oh, yeah. Mudbloods, maybe," I sneered.   
***

I just stood there, waiting to wake up from this dream. Malfoy was standing right in front of me. A look of surprise radiated from his face, but after letting out a small gasp, he was cool as ice. He looked me up and down. His eyes seemed to note every detail. He was wearing almost the same thing, only that his sweatshirt was Slytherin and he had long pants. I was scared for a moment, but when I noticed how soft his eyes were, my tension lifted.   
"Who in their right mind wears short shorts in the beginning of December? Oh, yeah. Mudbloods, maybe," he jeered. His eyes were icy cold once more.   
"Why is it we're always in the same place when we want to think?" I tried to be spiteful, but instead, I broke into a smile. He softned again and laughed, running his hand through his hair. I put both my hands in the kangaroo pocket of my sweatshirt.   
***   
    
"Why is it we're always in the same place when we want to think?" she asked, remembering my words from earlier. A timid, shy smile danced across her lips, making her radiate light. I couldn't help but laugh. She stared as my hand went to push a strand of hair out of my eyes.   
"I guess your subconscious led you here, huh, Malfoy?" she said, suddenly remembering that she had to be rude to me.   
"Tsk, tsk, Granger. Just when I thought you were going to be nice to me, you find some insult to lash out at me. Not a very good one, I might add," I whispered. She looked at me as if I had just hit her. Blood rushed to her face, making her look pinker than she all ready was.   
***   
    
"Tsk, tsk, Granger. Just when I thought you were going to be nice to me, you find some insult to lash out at me. Not a very good one, I might add," he said, inspecting his hands.   
"It's past midnight, Malfoy. I couldn't come up with anything good," I said, giggling a little. He sat down against the wall of the corridor. I was hesitant to sit next to him.   
***   
    
"It's past midnight, Malfoy. I couldn't come up with anything good," she giggled. I sat down and smiled. She looked down at me, obviously thinking about whether she should sit down or not.   
"Well, sit down, Granger," I say, trying to make my voice somewhat soothing.   
"Are you actually asking me to sit down, Malfoy?" she asked me, squeezing an ounce of sarcasm into her voice.   
"Yes, Granger. . . I believe I am. D'you see any pigs flying around?" I grinned, patting the spot next to me. She finally decided to trust me and gingerly sat down. I could feel her tremble beside me.   
***

"Do you want your blanket, Granger?" I asked, grabbing the thin, quilted, pink afghan. She smiled, took it from my hands and wrapped it around her legs. She just sat there for a minute, looking at a paintings on the wall and breathing deeply. She looked strangely diaphanous, as if light shined through out her. Her skin was transparent, which made her glow.   
"Oh, yeah. Thanks for the blanket," she said, snapping out of some trance.   
***

"Do you want your blanket, Granger?" he asked. I looked up to see if he was serious, or if he was just making fun of me. But he had his arm outstretched, the scrawny blanket clutched in his hand. I took it shyly and wrapped it around my freezing legs. Suddenly, the image of him bending down to kiss me flashed through my mind. It seemed so natural.   
"Oh, yeah. Thanks for the blanket," I said, suddenly remembering he was sitting beside me.   
"You're welcome, Hermi. . ." he trailed off.   
"Did you just attempt to say my first name?" I said very softly and batted my eye lashes.   
"Maybe," he said, smirking, "Now why don't you try saying mine?"   
"I've called you Malfoy for so long, I think I've forgotten your first name," I teased.   
"Need help, Granger?" he asked, shifting his body so that he was facing me.   
"If you're going to keep on calling me Granger, forget about me calling you Draco," I said, folding my arms across my chest. I was sent into peals of laughter when I realized that I had actually said his first name.   
***   
    
"If you're going to keep on calling me Granger, forget about me calling you Draco," she said. Somehow, she found this funny so she broke into soft giggles.   
"All right," I said, moving a little closer to her. I had to restrain myself from putting my hand on her creamy knee.   
"Thank you," she said and sensing that I had moved closer to her, crossed her legs.   
"Hermione?" I said. I just wanted to make her look at me.   
"Yes?" she replied. She still wouldn't look up. Damn girl. I put my hand on her chin, and raised her head so that her eyes met mine. She flinched.   
"Y-yes. . .?" she stammered again.   
"Can I finally kiss you now?" I asked, "Wait. No need to ask a Mudblood. They'll snog with anybody."   
***   
    
"Wait. No need to ask a Mudblood. They'll snog with anybody." he finished, his eyes glittering.   
"S'cuse me?" I asked. Had I heard him right?   
"Oh, hush just this once, Hermione," he said and caught my lips with his. It was a teasing kiss, his lips barely grazing mine. He looked at me and traced my lips with his icy fingers. I wrapped my arms around him and tangled my fingers in his pretty, soft hair. It was smooth like water. A torch in the corner of the hall threw dancing shadows across his face. He bent over and kissed me again.   
***

I broke the second kiss and looked at her. She was smiling shly, her eyes downcast, her fingers twisted in my hair. She closed her eyes and leaned her head against my chest. I felt her breathing slow down, her chest rising and falling against mine. She had fallen asleep. I watched for a couple of minutes and eventually nodded off. . .   
***   
    
"Hermione!!" someone shook my arm. I didn't want to get up. For the first time in four years, I didn't feel like learning how to transfigure a lady bug into a hat. I was so warm and safe, and his arms were so strong and soft and. . .   
"Hermione!!" someone hissed again. Suddenly, my eyes opened. I stood straight up, looking around to see who it was.   
"What are you doing here?" it was Ginny. She had all ready gotten dressed and groomed   
"And what are you doing here with. . ." she coughed, "him?" I looked to my left to find that the two lovely arms belonged to Malfoy. . . er, no. Draco.   
"Am I late for class?" I said groggily.   
"You're totally disoriented, aren't you? It's Saturday! Luckily for you. . ." Ginny smiled.   
"Oh thank God," I sighed, and sank back into Draco's arms. He was still sleeping.   
"You should really get up, unless you want Slytherins trampling you two. Breakfast starts in fifteen minutes," Ginny said, tapping her watch.   
"Oh God," I said, getting up and dusting myself off. Draco stirred and opened his eyes. He rubbed them and looked around.   
"Goddamn it," he sprang to his feet and handed me my blanket,   
"Umm. . . do you wanna talk about this later?"   
"Meet me in the library after breakfast," I whispered.   
"Hermione. . . the clock is ticking," Ginny said in my ear. I ran.   
***

"Goddamn it," I bounded to my feet, grabbed her blanket, and pushed it into her lap. She stood there, her hair wild, with a look of bewilderment on her face.   
"Umm. . . do you wanna talk about this later?" I asked her, placing a strand of her hair behind her ear. Something I had wanted to do for a long time. . . .   
"Meet me in the library after breakfast," she whispered quickly.   
"Hermione. . . the clock is ticking," the Weasley girl said. Hermione nodded and ran off. I stood there, watching her for a minute, trying to decipher the night's events. I don't know why I had done it. There was something so attractive about her. . . because I couldn't have her completley. But I couldn't like her in any way. She was a Gryffindor. . . a sworn enemy of the Slytherins. I sighed and decided I better start heading back.   
***   


I pulled a brush through my hair sleepily. Why was I acting so dreamy and stupid all of a sudden? I was totally unlike myself. For the first time in my life, I didn't care about getting my homework done. . . I didn't worry about exams.   
I stepped into the shower, ran the shaving blade carelessly over my legs, cutting my ankles so that the blood turned the swirling water pinkish red. I got out again, wrapped a fluffy white towel around my body and stepped into the circular bedroom.   
"G'morning, Hermi!" Lavender squealed, buttoning a pair of jeans.   
"You're so pretty, Hermi! I wish I looked like you!" Parvati exclaimed, looking for her favorite lilac top.   
"I am not," I said, grinning and blushing. I pulled out some loose jeans, a red long sleeved shirt, and my robes. I walked into the bathroom and changed there.   
"Hullo," Ron said, smiling and waiving as I stepped into the common room.   
"Good morning," Harry was trying to brush down his untidy hair. I couldn't help laughing.   
"Let's go down to breakfast. . . I'm starving," Ron said, rubbing his stomach.   
The three of us walked out of the common room and down the hall, carelessly.

**this wasn't a cliff hanger ya'll! lol.. i am being a western chika. please review, or i'll be angry. i won't write more unless u review!! tell me what u think!!luv ya TONZ!!!!! ;) 


	2. Unsure

chaper 2.html I watched her giggle at the stupid jokes Weasely made and I noticed how she almost upset a glass of milk at breakfast.   
"What're you staring at, Dracie?" Pansy asked, tugging on my arm and looking up into my eyes.   
"Nothing," I said, shaking her off. She got all huffy and vengefully dug her spoon into her porridge. I tried to concentrate on my own luke-warm breakfast.   
***

I screamed and giggled as I almost spilled my milk.   
"Are you all right, Hermione?" Harry asked me.   
"Yeah. . . this is the first time I think I have ever heard you giggle," Ron said, beginning to do a spirited impression of me giggling and blushing.   
"Shut up!" I squealed, flicking a piece of dried toast into his eye. Fred and George chortled across the table.   
"Now, now. . . settle down, Hermione," Percy said calmly. I glanced over at Draco. He was sitting, staring at his porridge as if trying to see if he could eat with his eyes.   
"Y'know, I think I got to go," I said, finally getting up.   
"Hermione. . . we have at least five months till exams start. No need to start studying now," Ron said, sloshing his spoon through his soggy cereal.   
"Oh, shut up, Ron!!" I laughed and began to walk towards the door.   
"D'you need help studying or something?" Ron called after me, forgetting that he had to make fun of me. His soft, large, brown eyes stared at me. I felt like they were looking straight through my soul, so that he could really see me. . .   
"Ugh," what words were I looking for? His eyes irked me.   
"Hermione. . . er, are you in there?" Harry stared.   
"Yeah, yeah. No, I'll be fine by myself, thanks, Ron," I said, walking out.   
***

I pushed my plate away and got up from the table.   
"Where are you going, Draco?" Pansy asked, a strand of hair entwined in her long, bony fingers.   
"Somewhere," I walked away from the table so that she wouldn't have a chance to ask me any pestering questions.   
***

I reclined in one of the squashy, soft, red, velvety arm-chairs and heaved a long sigh. My fingers went to brush a strand of hair out of my eyes, but then I saw him walking through the door, his flaxen hair shining in the white, sparkling, winter sunlight. I held my breath as he looked around. I wanted him to come over, but in the same time I wanted to run. . . I wanted to. . .   
"Ohmigod, he's walking over here!" I gasped. Wait a minute. . . did I just say, 'ohmigod'? I was acting like Lavender or Parvati. . . I took a deep breath and tried to regain control of myself.   
"Granger," he addressed me, and sat down in a seat beside me. I finally drew a breath. He called me Granger. Tears jumped to my eyes, but I quickly muted the sobs that were rising in my chest. Why did he call me Granger? Argh!   
Why was I so stupid last night and this morning? I was acting so strange. . . I was acting like an average, mediocre schoolgirl. Ugh. . . mediocre disgusts me.   
"Malfoy," I said coolly, gathering my shattered thoughts and scattered emotions.   
"About last night," he started, looking at his hands awkwardly. This gesture reminded me of my own 'exquisite' hands writhing nervously in my lap.   
"Yes, Malfoy, about last night," I said, nodding. I tried to meet his gaze several times, but I was afraid that he would look at me in the same penetrating way Ron had.   
***

"Yes, Malfoy, about last night," she said, her head bobbing up and down obediently. She said it with chilling formality. . . I knew what I was going to say. I had it all planned out in my head.   
"I didn't know what I was-" I began.   
"Yes. . . I didn't know what I was thinking, either. I guess I just lost my head there for a second. But now it's back on my shoulders, so I am thinking quite clearly," she rambled. I watched her look down at her hands.   
"I don't even know why it happened," I muttered, "Me, kissing a mud-blood!" She looked up, her eyes shining with tears, her mouth twisted into a wicked smile.   
"I just did it because it was a dare. . . I wanted to see what a mudblood was like," I sneered, raising an eye brow at her.   
"Me, kissing a slimy snake like you, Malfoy. The thought disgusts me," she said and got up. She began to walk away.   
"I think I'm going to chuck up my breakfast now. Ta ta!" she called, her hand   
flitting in the air forming a careless wave.   
"Granger!" I called out. She turned her head and met my eyes. She pouted her bottom lip and batted her eye lashes. A hand was rested on her jutting hipbone artfully. Mudbloods can be seductive when they want to be. . . stupid whore.   
***

"Granger!" he called out. I turned around, and pushed all my hurt and hate and pain to the back of my mind. I put on my sexy school girl face and turned around.   
"I really must go study," I said, smiling demurely and walking out of the library.   
I walked into the common room and pulled my report for Charms. I began to proof read it, trying to get my mind off of Malfoy. The noise level in the room began to rise as people came in from breakfast. Fred and George made a grand entrance by running into the room and throwing lighted Fillibuster Fireworks all over the place.   
"No spelling errors. . . no run on sentences," I muttered, desperately looking for something to copy-over or fix. One of those silly, colorful fireworks went off beside my table. I sighed deeply. I needed to stop thinking about blonde hair and silver eyes and pale hands. Studying won't make this go away. . .   
I remembered last night. . . I had gone for a walk because I needed to think about him. If I would go for a walk now, would I bump into him and fall asleep in his arms?   
"Hermione, watch out!!" Fred yelled. I looked up from my book to see that my parchment was on fire. . . George had set off a fire work right near my paper. . .   
***

I rested my head in my hands and closed my eyes, trying to remember the way she smelled last night. Trying to remember the way her hair fell over her eyes. . . the eerie shadows the light casted over her pretty face.   
My finger nails dug sharply into my clenched fist. I looked down and saw bluish veins, pumping, thin against my pale skin, running down my arm, like the lines through marble.   
The words that I had said to her rang in my ears. . .   
"Goddammit, Malfoy!" I muttered, and buried my face in my hands.   
***

"Er, Hermione?" Ron asked that night in the common room, "You've been a little bit preoccupied lately, haven't you?"   
"Preoccupied? Why would you say that?" I said nervously, finally realizing that I was holding my book upside down and that I was about to take a drink from my pencil rather then my cup. I blushed and quickly freed my hands of all the objects they were holding.   
"You haven't nagged us about homework or playing exploding snap too loud or anything," Harry pointed out.   
"I really need to go to sleep. I have to wake up early tomorrow so I can go to the library," I said, getting up and pushing my chair in.   
"G'night, Hermione," Ron said, accidentally brushing my hand with his. Or was it an accident?   
"G'night," I whispered, and walked up to the dormitories.   
***   
  
Tomorrow we had potions, and I had to work with her. . . I would talk to her then, I decided. I closed my eyes, but her image drifted into my mind. I rolled over to look out the window, but I could swear that I saw her shadow. I squinted and noticed that it had begun to snow. Holding my breath, and making sure to be very quiet, I got out of bed.   
***

I looked out the window. I could see the clock shining next to me. It said it was past midnight. I looked outside again, trying to find something that I had lost that morning in the never ending darkness that was only lit by the vanilla haziness of the tin foil, opal moon.   
"Snow!" I suddenly whispered, noticing little, fluttering rose-petal-like snow flakes fall from the gray sky. I could just sneak out one more night. . . just one more night. . . just to sit outside and look at the snow. I sat up excitedly, grabbed a warm cloak, and sneaked out of the bedroom.   
***

I looked at the grounds for a minute, watching as the snow softly blanketed the thinning grass. No one in sight. . . just the quiet night, and the moon, a pair of hazel eyes, and me. Wait a minute. . . a pair of hazel eyes? They looked so familiar. I saw them glow in the distance. . . catlike, almost.   
***

I stomped through the frozen Hogwarts grounds, taking a moment now and then to look up at the sky and catch snow flakes with my tongue. All my thoughts of Malfoy were forgotten. I pushed a strand of hair out of my eyes, sat down in the freezing, thin snow, and threw my billowing cloak around my frail body to keep out the hungry cold.   
***

I finally realize it's her. It's Hermione. Hermione. . . Hermione. . . Hermione. My heart beat faster as I went to her, my feet trudging in the snow, my toes becoming numb.   
"Why is it we always are in the same place to think?" I could hear her whisper, her voice faint and dwindling from the night before.   
***

A pale boy with flaxen hair sat beside me. He looked at me with those mysterious, silvery gray eyes, his face completely expressionless. Hot anger flared up inside me. Why did he have to be everywhere I went?   
"Go to hell, Malfoy. Go to hell," I spat, running my finger through the snow aimlessly.   
"Don't tell me to go to hell, bitch," he said, catching my finger with his own.   
"Go to hell, go to hell, go-o-o-o to-o-o-o hell," I sang to the tune of some crazy, little, childish taunt.   
"Shut up!" he screamed, his lonely voice echoing helplessly through the charged, night air.   
***

"Go to hell, go to hell, go-o-o-o to-o-o hell," she mused. I turned to face her, my cold finger still touching hers.   
"Shut up!" I screamed. She looked down at our entwined fingers quietly. . . I could tell she was beginning to grow uncomfortable with the deafening silence.   
"You make me feel so unlike myself, Draco," she whispered finally, "It's like. . . I don't care about studying or being at the top of the class or getting all the answers   
right."   
I look at her for a moment, noticing a lonely tear meander down her cheek, as if looking for the way down.   
***

"You make me feel so unlike myself, Draco," I said barely above a whisper, "It's like. . . I don't care about studying or being at the top of the class or getting all the answers right."   
He stared at me, his eyes traveling from my trembling lips to my tearful eyes.   
"I suppose I want you because I can't have you, Granger," he said, breaking the tense silence. He put his arms around my waist and pulled me closer.   
"No. . . no," I cried weakly, "You can't. Please let go." I pressed my hands against his chest, trying to push him away from me. As far away from me as possible. . . he scared me. . . he made me want to cry and laugh and scream and sit still and live and die all at the same time.   
"Don't say no to me," he said, his lips finally finding mine. He kissed me until my lips softened to his, moving in the way that he wanted me to. The smell of lemons and mint lingered about him.   
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" he said as he abruptly pushed away from me. I looked up at him, still trying to catch my breath. His shove had thrown my on my back.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!' I said, suddenly shoving her away from me. I guess I had pushed a little too hard, because she fell on her back. She got up shakily, dusting snow flakes from her eye lashes, hair, and skin.

** this isn't a real cliff hanger, either!!! i'm sorry if u like them.. all right.. now u can   
review telling me if u still want more.. i hoped u liked this one! thanks for reading! luv   
u! ;) 


	3. Mixed Feelings

3.html

  


Mixed Feelings 

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!' I said, suddenly shoving her away from me. I guess I had pushed a little too hard, because she fell on her back. She got up shakily, dusting snow flakes from her eye lashes, hair, and skin. 

"I'm so sorry," I took her in my arms again and buried my face in her shoulder, taking in the scent of her soft, creamy skin. I could feel her sharp, strained breathing against my chest. Snow fell furiously from up above, making us shiver and shake. 

"Please don't, Draco," she elbowed me away. I stared at her. 

*** 

"Please don't, Draco," I whined and pushed him away again. He looked at me with startled eyes. His lips were slightly parted, divulging beautiful, straight, white teeth. His hair was thrown in strands across his face carelessly. 

"Why not?" he asked, his hands turning from frosted white to red on account of the bone-numbing cold. 

"You frighten me," I whispered, not daring to look up at his face, not knowing what kind of expression I would find there, "You're so terribly cold and confusing and I don't know what to think anymore." 

"As if you're not confusing," he said, sarcasm and hate disappearing from his voice completely.   
  
"Why?" I asked quietly, lying in the snow. The melting snow slushed around in my hair. 

"Because you're beautiful, and me, of all people, can actually recognize that. I want you so much, but there's no way could have you. You're a mudblood and I hate your friends and you're an awful know-it-all but I still want you," he said. It seemed as if he were holding his breath. In truth, I was actually holding mine. 

"I don't know how I came to know that I wanted you. . . it was one day in potions, I suppose. The way the light hit your hair caught my eye, I guess," he began speaking again, this time carelessly,   
  
"And that one day when I grabbed your wrist, and I had you up against that wall, and you were trembling horribly, hair falling over your eyes and all. . . 

"And then the night in the hall. You completely over powered me. . . I couldn't hold myself back any longer, but when I woke, I didn't know what had happened, and I guess I got scared. I didn't want to like you, because I'm a Slytherin and you're a silly mudblood Gryffindor. I still don't want to like you. . . " 

"You were so awful to me this morning. . ." I said, looking up at the sky. 

"Sorry, I guess," he said, lying beside me. 

"Y'know, I really have to get going. I don't want to be caught breaking the rules," I whispered, getting up, and dusting the snow from my hair. 

"Yeah, well, see you tomorrow in potions, I guess," Draco replied, getting up also. He reached his hand out to push a strand of hair out of my eyes. 

*** 

I sat in potions, waiting for her to walk in through the door, an inexplicable golden light wrapping around her entire body. Crabbe and Goyle noticed that something had changed in me this morning. They kept on asking me stupid questions. Like, if I was in love with Pansy, or did I have too much sugar or maybe-- 

"Oh, Ron! I can't believe you didn't finish your paper for charms. D'you think Professor Flitwick will be terribly upset if my paper is too long? It's a couple more feet of parchment then he wanted. . . I hope he doesn't have a hard time reading it. My handwriting was so tiny! I wanted to fit as much in as possible without having too many rolls of parchment," Hermione rambled breathlessly as she walked into the room, with her body guards, Potter and Weasley. The two boys rolled their eyes and grinned. 

"Oh, I do hate potions," she sighed, tossed back her hair, and sat at a table next to Weasley and Potter. 

"I don't terribly fancy it myself, mind you," replied Weasley, taking out his quill, parchment, and cauldron. 

*** 

I looked over at Draco as Ron and Harry sat beside me. I made some blank remark about me disliking potions to distract me from the pretty boy sitting on the other side of the room, staring right back at me with strangely sad eyes. 

"I don't terribly fancy it myself, mind you," Ron replied. 

"And we have that old bat, Snape, teaching it, too," Harry nodded, adjusting his glasses. 

"And Malfoy, the brainless git, always sucking up to him," Ron chortled, taking his wand out of his worn, dark, leather satchel. I laughed nervously along with Harry, guilt flowing freely through my body. 

"I have to admit, even though potions is extremely important to our training as becoming full fledged wizards, I wish we didn't have Snape teaching it," I said, once again tossing back my thick, golden brown hair brilliantly. 

"Hermione!! Such blasphemous statements I have never heard protrude from you!!" gasped Ron, putting on a shocked face. 

"Yes! How dare you speak wrongly of this wonderful class? It's taught us so much. . ." Harry caught on, pretending to wipe a tear from his eye. 

"Oh, you two," it took a great effort for me to laugh. Harry and Ron exchanged victorious grins. 

"Before we begin with today's lesson, I would like to ask you to please get together with your partner," Snape said nastily, entering the dungeon with his jet black robes billowing menacingly behind him. 

I stood up wearily and gathered up my supplies. My feet moved almost automatically to a seat beside Draco's. As I sat down quietly, he looked into his bag for something that probably wasn't even there. I suspected that he was trying to avoid eye contact with me. 

"Today you shall begin to brew the final ingredients to add to your potions. Any mistake made, and I will take an appreciably amount of points from that person's particular house," Snape looked at Neville darkly. Neville cowered under Snape's malicious, glittering, black eyes. I could hear him whimper. 

"Shall we begin, Hermione?" Draco said with a hint of enthusiasm in his voice. It seemed as if he had just noticed I was there. I couldn't help but smile shyly and nod. 

"It says here only one half cup, Draco!" I giggled as the measuring cup overflowed with the slimy newt's eyes. He had accidentally tipped his bag over too much. Then, something magical happened. . . he actually laughed. Like, a real, nice, genuine laugh. . . it was the first time I had ever heard him laugh. I goggled at him. He had quite a beautiful smile. . . 

*** 

I found myself laughing right along with her. For some reason, she looked surprised. This only made me laugh harder. Her giggles were soft and constant. 

"I really do hope we get top marks on this thing, Draco," she said, looking into our cauldron, biting her lower lip apprehensively. She spun a strand of hair around her index finger. She looked so damn cute when she was being smart. 

"Y'know, Draco. . . if anyone found out about this. . ." she trailed off, suddenly forgetting about getting full marks. 

"I know," I replied, nodding. She looked up at me with large, hazel eyes, her mouth slightly open, a strand of hair askew. 

"Isn't it strange, though?" she asked, breaking the tense silence between us. 

"What's strange?" I asked, looking up from the cauldron. It was smoking and gave off a terrible stench. 

"Us, I mean," she said, quickly dropping her eyes. 

"Yeah. . . I guess," I shrugged. I tried to turn my attention back to the cauldron, but I couldn't. What she had said had hit me pretty hard. Us? Strange? I rested my head in my hands and tried to think about this. It was true, though. I had said it earlier. How could a Slytherin like a Gryddindor? If any one found out about this, especially father, my reputation would be tarnished for ever. Damn father for being such a son of a bitch. No offense, Gran. 

*** 

" 'It says here only one half cup, Draco'," Ron said, putting on a girly sort of voice as we walked out of potions. 

"What?" I looked at him nervously, twiddling with my wand. 

"Yeah, and then I think you actually giggled," he continued. His ears were turning red with anger. 

"I really have no idea what you're talking about, Ron!" I said hotly. 

"You're practically all over Malfoy!" Ron yelled back. 

"I am not! And if I was, why would that bother you?" I replied, my anger flaring. 

"Because it does!" 

"Well, it shouldn't! Not saying like I ever said that or anything. Argh! You're so immature!" I could feel my face reddening. 

"Fine!" 

"FINE!" I walked off, leaving Harry and Ron behind to stare at me. 

"What was that all about?" I could hear Harry saying. 

"I think Hermione has got something going on with Malfoy," Ron replied. 

"She wouldn't do that sort of stuff. Her and Malfoy tear each other up, Ron. Don't worry about it. Besides, I thought she liked you," Harry said, shoving his hands into his pocket.   
  
"I thought so, too," Ron said glumly, trudging along the corridor. 

I sat at the Gryffindor table, with Harry sitting in between Ron and I. Harry kept on giving me confused looks. 

"Hermione. . ." he would begin to say. I would ask him what he wanted, but he would just look at Ron quietly. 

"Hermione. . ." he said for the fifth millionth time. 

"What, Harry, what? What is it? What in the hell is it?" I screamed, finally snapping. His eyes got wide. I could feel the rest of the Gryffindor table staring at me, their mouths hanging open. 

"What??" I yelled again, throwing a piercing gaze at Fred and George who were snickering. 

"Nothing," George said, quickly getting back to cutting his vegetables. 

"Nothing at all," Fred said, hastily turning to whisper something to Lee Jordan. 

I got up and shoved my chair in. I needed to go to the library. I walked out of the Great Hall and down the corridor, looking at the different paintings. 

"Come here and fight, you coward!!" a knight yelled at me in one painting. I scowled and stuck my tongue out at him. He pulled out his jousting sword and jumped on his horse, following me at a gallop all the way to the library. 

"Coward!!!" he yelled again as I walked into the quiet, dusty, old library. The sight of all the worn copies of books bound in velvet and leather made me feel a little calmer. The tension that had been built up all the way through lunch slowly lifted, making me feel a great deal lighter. I picked out a tattered volume and leafed through the pages peacefully. I sat at a couch and began reading and reading and reading. . . 

*** 

I couldn't touch a thing at lunch. I kept staring I just kept on mutilating my beef pie with my fork silently. Pansy kept on throwing me dark looks and silent sulks. I had the strongest urge to pour the split pea soup all over her head. 

I glanced over at the Gryffindor's table. The Weasley twins were snickering, and young Weasley seemed to be brooding over something. Harry poked Hermione. I watched her sit up and obviously yell something -(I couldn't hear her, she was too far away). Potter and Weasley both gave her strange looks and she walked out of the Great Hall. I decided I wouldn't follow her today. I would try to act normal as if nothing had happened. 

*** 

I was pathetic. I was sitting in the library, glancing up from my book every now and then to look at the entrance. I excepted Draco to walk in at any moment, the winter sunlight dancing playfully around his face, making his hair glint and his eyes sparkle. I waited. . . . waited. . . waited. He didn't come. I suddenly realized that if I didn't leave in two minutes, I'd be late for charms. I hastily sat up, straightened out my hair and cloak, shoved the book into the shelf, and walked out of the library, leaving my weak fantasies behind. 

*** 

I sat in the common room in front of the blazing fire, slowly eating the Christmas Fudge my mother had sent me. Crabbe and Goyle were laughing stupidly about something. I tried to ignore their annoying snickers. I thought about sending Hermione an owl, but quickly brushed off the plan, thinking about all the things that could go wrong. I wondered what she was doing right now. . . probably talking to Weasley or Potter. I shrugged and began to head up to the dormitories. 

*** 

Harry had left the Common Room unusually early. He had left Ron and I alone, sitting at opposite ends of the table in front of the fire. Ron was pretending to do his homework, but every time I glanced up at him, he was staring right back at me. I shrugged him off and tried to get back to my goblin rebellion essay. People began going up the stairs and off to their dormitories. Ron and I were the last two left. 

I looked up at the giant grandfather clock and read it was a little before midnight. 

"Hermione?" Ron's voice came to my ears. I forced myself to look at him in the eye. Something was glinting in them. . . something I hadn't ever seemed to notice before. 

"Ron?" I answered back, softly. 

"D'you wanna sit down on the couch or something?" he asked, getting up and shutting his book. I got up also, hastily putting my quills and parchment away. The walk to the couch seemed an awfully long one. Everything slowed down as the two of us sat down side by side. Unusually close. I could feel his breath. I began to shiver uncontrollably. 

"I'm sorry for the way I acted today. I was a jerk," he said. It seemed as if he had said this all in one breath. 

"I forgive you, I guess," I said, nodding and shivering some more. 

"Are you all right, Hermi?" he asked me. Hermi? No one's ever called me that before. Could he like me? Maybe? It would be so awful if he did. . . 

"It's getting terribly late, Ron. I think I've got to go. G'night," I got up and started walking away and up the stairs to the girl's dormitories. 

"Wait, Hermi," I could hear him say. He was almost whispering it. Like, it was too painful for him to say out loud. I turned around and his eyes met mine. 

"I really--" he began. 

"G'night!!" I said hastily, running up the stairs, my hair flying behind me. 

*~*~* 

Okay... did u guys like this part?? some people told me to stop switching POV's cuz it annoyed them, but TOUGH.. i like it that way!! heehee.. plus it would be weird if i suddenly changed my writing style.. i kinda like the mixed POV's.. but u see how i made them cleared by adding the little ***? yeah! well, go ahead and review.. there's more coming soon if you want it!! thanks for all the nice reviews!! luv ya all!! hugs and kisses!! ;)   



	4. Up the Staircase

dh3.html

UP THE MARBLE STAIRCASE, AND INTO THE WHITENESS

  
  
  


I sat in bed, unable to go to sleep. What was Ron going to say? I knew what he had intended to say in the depths of my mind, but I didn't want to actually believe it. I sighed and tried to close my eyes again. I opened them. But what if both Ron and Draco liked me? I smiled in spite of myself. I never thought I would have problems like this. Well, back on the subject. . . what if they both liked me? How would I choose which one I liked more? Ron, with his fiery, red hair, freckles that dotted his face like stars, and wonderful sense of humor. But then there was Draco. . Draco, frosted opal, flaxen waves, strong, and silent. How could I choose if I had to?   
"Maybe I won't choose at all," I murmured, rolled over and fell asleep.   


*** 

Breakfast was boring. Charms class was boring. Herbology was boring. The day was boring and just so damn depressing. I didn't see Hermione at all except at potions. She seemed so far away. She kept on looking over at someone at the other end of the room and sighing. She made me uncomfortable. I had the strongest urge to punch her in the face.   
"Hermione?" I tugged at a strand of her hair, perhaps too hard.   
"Ow!" she turned around, snapping from her reverie, "what? Oh, is the potion ready?" 

*** 

"Oh, Harry!!" I wailed, putting down my books and smashing both my glass ink viles. The dark purple ink seeped through the carpet in the library. I sighed, and ran my hands through my hair. Harry and I sat in the library, waiting for Ron to come back with some books about famous hags for history of magic class. It was mostly empty, because everyone was still down at lunch, laughing and eating. . . and eating. . . and laughing. . and. . .   
"Are you all right?" Harry asked me, looking at the purple spot on the carpet, then back up at me. I looked around, making sure that Ron hadn't come back from a shelf of books in the back of the library.   
"No. . . not really," I mumbled.   
"Why not?"   
"Ooooh, Harry. It's Ron!" I cried, putting both my elbows on the table.   
"What about him?" Harry began to fidget in his seat.   
"Does he, you know, like me? I mean not just like me, but, like LIKE me," I said. Everything sounded so stupid when it came out of my mouth. Backwards and jumbled. What was wrong with me?   
"Hermione. . . that was incredibly confusing. . ." Harry said.   
"Oh, you know what I mean, Harry," I said.   
"Yeah, I guess he does sorta like you," he responded, concentrating very hard on the ink blot on the floor. I looked up at him, into his bottle green eyes. They seemed to have every color of the forest in them. They didn't search inside me like Ron's. Thank God.   
"Well. . . well, that's just. . ." I was at a loss for words, "bad, I guess. It's just bad."   
"Why? Don't you like him, too?" Harry, glancing at Ron at the other end of the room.   
"No! Not at all! How could I?" I blurted. Wait. . . that's not the way I wanted it to come out. That sounded just so stupid and mean and so unlike me.   
"No. . . I mean, I can't like him because he's my friend and it would be a little strange if I liked him, don't you s'pose so?" I desperately tried to pick up my broken thoughts and piece them together. My mind was fumbling and hesitating. It kept dropping pieces.   
"Is it Malfoy? Please tell me you and Malfoy don't have anything going on," Harry pleaded, looking up at my face. This time he did seem to be searching. . .but not quite as deeply as Ron had.   
"Don't be silly," I sighed.   
"Okay. . . good," he nodded.   
"I've found the book!" Ron yelled, coming back.   
"Er, Ron?" I raised an eye brow and took the book in my hands, gazing at it.   
"What?"   
"This isn't in English," I said, flipping a couple pages and laughing quietly.   
"But. . . but. . ." he spluttered. His ears turned very red.   
"Oh, Ron!" I said, laughing harder.   


*** 

I walked inside the owl house and looked around. Thousands of white and brown owls were rested on perches, hooting peacefully. A note to Hermione was clutched tightly in my hand. I had to use the school owl so no body would know it was me who sent the letter to her. Like she said. . . if anyone found out. . .   
I held the piece of parchment lightly in my hands, looking over at the veins of ink flowering across the paper. It was folded neatly. I spotted a tiny, gray owl and tied the note onto its foot. It hooted softly and flew out the window.   
"I hope she gets it," I muttered to myself, turning to walk out of the owlery. A silvery strand of hair fell into my eyes. I felt to lazy to brush it away. . . 

*** 

I sat at breakfast, watching white, gray, and chestnut owls fly into the room, laden with packages and letters to give to the other students. I never got owls. I watched Ron tear open a package from his mum and sighed.   
"Er, Hermione? Is that owl yours?" Harry asked, pointing to my cup filled with orange juice. A small, fluttering owl had landed it inside it, a juice sodden note attached to its tiny, red feet.   
"Let me help you with that," Ron said, scooping the owl out of my cup.   
"Er, thanks, Ron. I won't be able to drink my juice now, but oh well," I carefully tore the note off the owl's feet.   
"Who's it from, Hermi?" Ron asked, putting down his fork.   
"Er, no one," I read it and blushed, stuffing it hastily into my pocket. Even though the ink was runny I could still read it. . . Draco! Draco, I wanted to scream. He had sent me a note telling me to meet him in the North Tower at midnight! That would be breaking a school rule-- but-- I couldn't-- there was no possible way-- I smiled. . . 

*** 

I sat down against a large, towering, marble pole and squinted. The darkness only feared the vanilla milkiness of the moon and the bright, jewel flashes of harsh snow flakes glittering against a sky of velvety purple and gray. I glanced up at the ceiling, then down at the floor. There was nothing more to look at. I sighed, stuffing my hands in the pocket of my baggy, flanelly, jet black pants. My ears strained for light footsteps, dancing across an icy, lonely, marble floor , but no sound came to me. I was just getting ready to stand up and leave when I heard quick breathing coming from the dark staircase. 

*** 

I struggled up the dreary stair case, the own sound of my feet making my heart dance in my chest. I took a deep breath and stepped into the white haziness that was the light of a pregnant moon. I tried to hold back a smile as I watched him sitting near a large, fancy pole, stony vines twisting up the marble grandness, seeming to choke the life out of it. His hair shone almost white in the harsh light. I hoped that my messy ponytail didn't look to awful. . .   
"Draco!" I whispered, going to him, and sitting beside him almost silently. He looked up at me, his face giving way to a wonderful smile. Almost relived. Almost out of breath.   
"I didn't think you would show, you know," Draco said, looking down at his hands. His body was bathed in alabaster, platinum, almost liquidy light. It seemed like he was holding his breath. I couldn't breathe, either.   
"Oh, that's silly," I said, my voice trembling. I fumbled helplessly to break the tense silence. He looked up from his hands and into my eyes for the first time that night. I started to tremble all over, unable to control my clattering knees. He leaned in on me, so that his nose was almost touching mine. His eyes sparkled silver, gray, and icy blue all at once. I held my breath.   
"You're pretty," he finally said, backing away, and resting his head in his hands. I sighed almost inaudibly. That's not exactly what I was excpecting from him. A kiss perhaps, would have been lovely.   
"I think I forgot something," he said suddenly, taking my face up in his hands and placing his lips to mine. His hands traveled from my face to my back, making shivers travel up and dwn m spine. I suddenly had forgotten how to breathe. . .   
  


sorry this chapter was sooo short.. I have had no time for writing, I've been so busy with parties and other good stuff.. yeah, well, review.. I'll get more written soon!! I promise!!! luv ya ;) ps: please please please review!!! don't be slackers!!!   
  
  



	5. Veins Split Open

part 5 I tried to leave several times, but I couldn't. I tried to push her away from me. . . to make her go away, but I just couldn't. There was absolutely no way. She almost clung to me, her hands searching for something that she couldn't find. . . that I was afraid she would find.   
"Wow. . . it's getting late," she whispered to me, beginning to get up.   
"Yeah, we better go," I urged her.   
"Well, yeah," she stammered, "Good night!" I sat there, breathing quietly, waiting for her to descend down the long, spiraling flight of stairs, but she didn't. She didn't move at all. She was as still as the night and the moon and the water. She didn't even seem to be breathing. Her face was white. . . 

***   
I stood there, facing him, barely breathing. . . silently longing. . . thinking. . . feeling. I just. . . well. . . I just stood there. He stared back at me, the anticipation in his eyes overflowing the small pent he had silently built for it. My brain told my feet to move, but they refused.   
"Am I moving yet?" I whispered, hoping that my feet were finally listening properly. He stared at me for a couple of seconds and a shadow of a smile played across his lips.   
"No," he mused. My mouth formed the word "oh" silently. His smile exploded into laughter. Lovely pure, almost girlish laughter.   
"Be quiet," I giggled.   
"You shut up," he stood up, the smile fading from his lips. He seemed to be regaining control of himself. . . like he was checking himself at all times.   
"Shhh. . . shut up," he said again, getting up and moving towards me.   
"I didn't--" I began.   
"I told you to shut up," he was now standing in front of me. Suddenly, I became scared. I wanted to run. . . to hide away or something, but I couldn't bring myself to move.   
"I--" I started again, shrinking back at his gaze.   
"SHUT UP," he yelled. In a whirlwind of footsteps and hair and feathers and marble bodies, his lips were upon mine, his tongue pushing in between my teeth. My hair had come out of its messy pony tail and was splayed across my back, his shoulders, and his hands.   
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry or push him away. He held me up so close to him that it felt as if my lungs would explode from the lack of oxygen. He kissed me still, his hands tugging and pulling and traveling through fistfuls of my hair.   
"Draco. . ." I finally gasped as he pulled away to take a breath. He swooped down on me again, sealing both my lips and my eyes closed. My hands tried to travel down to his shoulders so that I could push him away, but they stayed limp, tangled in his hair.   
"Please. . . let go," I said suddenly, tearing my mouth from his, "I need to get some sleep." I flicked my hand, forming a wave, and ran down the stairs, tripping and tumbling down the last five steps. I could hear Draco's quick, careful footsteps echoing in the night.   
"Are you all right?" he whispered, dropping down to his knees before me, his knee bones clacking against the ice cold marble. 

***   
She tore away from me, pushing me from her. She began to run down the stairs, her hair flying behind her, the black rubber band ripped, forgotten, and lost among the veiny marble. I could hear her bare feet clap softly against the steps. Suddenly. . . shrieking, a body slapping with the marble, the crunch and groan of her tired, bruised, bones, protruding beneath her thin skin like freakish cages.   
I took off after her. She lay on her stomach at the bottom of the spiral stair way. I slid down beside her and whispered, "are you all right?" She murmured a muffled something. I took her head in my hands and set it on my lap, stroking her hair softly, delicatley tracing lines around her lips with my fingers.   
"Did I scare you up there?" I said suddenly. Perhaps a little too suddenly. . . her head snapped up, her eyes searching my face. They gave her completely away.   
"Yes," she began, "No. Maybe. No. . . yes."   
"Does this scare you?" I put my lips to hers, my blonde eye lashes fanning against her skin, my hands slipping inside her shirt.   
"Yes, Draco. Please. Don't," she whimpered, pushing my away and getting up again, "I'm scared of you sometimes."   
"Why?"   
"You kiss me. . . so hard. . . it hurts. . . you'll find your way inside of me and you'll find out that if you ever did have some sort of thing about me it was fake, and you'll slap me, and slit my veins open with knives," she said this all very slowly and barely above a whisper. She didn't dare look up at me.   
"I hate you," I hissed, pushing back my hair.   
"God, Draco. . . please, don't say that," she pleaded, taking hold of my sleeves, crystalline tears jumping to her eyes.   
"I hate you," I repeated, kissing her neck.   
"Don't hate me. . ." she murmured, her voice fading softly, "slit. . . open. . . with knives. Veins. Bright reddish bluish purple bruises. Blood. . . spilling across your white torso."   
I listened to her ramble on softly, her voice fading and flickering, her eyes closing and then fluttering open again like summer butterflies.   
"Pale lips. . . and grayish eyes. . ." she whispered, her fingers going to touch my mouth, "splayed out across. . . the night sky. . . before a young girl's eyes. . . "   
I felt her forehead to make sure if she was all right. She felt feverish. Perhaps her head hit too hard against the floor.   
"You're so pretty," she whispered, suddenly snapping back into what seemed a world real for her. She sat up and pressed her lips softly against mine. . . placing her hands inside my sweatshirt. Her fingers were icy cold against my chest.   
"Ssss. . ." she hissed fervently, "spilling across your torso."

***   
I woke up with a start, looking around. The image of a marble, greek god, body flashed in my mind. I searched, but all I could see was my hands and myself in my bed. The other beds in the girls' dormitory were messy and untidy. His lips still felt sticky and warm against my neck, lips, and fore head.   
"Spilling across your torso," I whispered. Fragments of last night. . .   
"Hermione?" someone's voice. Someone who wasn't supposed to be here. A boy.   
"Hmm?" I dared to answer back. A red head protruded in the door way.   
"Ron!" I gasped.   
"Are you all right? You didn't come to classes. It's lunch right now," he said, coming into view. He climbed into my bed and sat beside me.   
"I didn't come to classes?" I gasped. What about all the homework that was due? I was so behind. . . my head began to spin. Ron pressed his hand against my forehead.   
"You need to go to the hospital wing. You're hot," he said. This remark made me giggle a bit. He blushed, swiftly drew his hand away from my fore head, and looked down.   
"Could you please accompany me to the hospital wing? I'm too tired to go all alone," I got up. It was like a dream. . like one of those freaky scary naked dreams, only I wasn't naked. Just half. As the covers slithered off of my body, I found that all I had on was my bra and my pajama bottoms. The sweatshirt bearing the Gryffindor symbol lay at the foot of my bed, folded neatly. Ron blushed even further.   
"H-here. . . p-p-put this on," he stammered, grabbing my sweatshirt and slamming it over my head. I blushed and pushed my hands through the sleeves.   
"You never saw that," I whispered to him, beginning to get up.   
"You're right. . ." he nodded, "Here. Let me carry you."   
I sighed and surrendered myself to his arms. He picked me up like a small child. My head rolled against his chest and I fell asleep. But I swear that I could feel that faintest, softest lips grazing against mine.   


~~~~   
okay.. how did you guys like this one?? i'm actually for once quite pleased with it. please please review a lot and tell me how you like it!! please!! THANKS!!! luv u tons!!! xoxox ;) ps: i'm sorry about not putting any humor in there... i suck at that.   
  



	6. Fighting

chapter some.html He oh-so-carefully lay me in the hospital bed, pulling the blanket up past my shoulders, and fluffing my pillow. His hand brushed   
against my lips, tracing down my neck, but stopping in the empty hollows of my collar bones. He drew his hand back sharply as   
Madame Pomfrey's clicky clackiddy footsteps made their way into the room.   
"The flu, I think," he muttered.   
"Just let her sleep. You have five more minutes," she said. I could hear her walk out of the room. I breathed softly, pretending to be   
asleep. His hand found its way back, resting in the valley of my chest. I shivered slightly, and wished desperately that he would leave.   
"Why can't you love me?" he mumbled. I opened my eyes slowly, and sat up in my bed. His hand slid down my body, falling into the   
the starved hollow between my rib bones and belly button. He began to pull it away, but my fingers caught hold of his thumb. I traced   
over his palm, every now and then getting lost in shallow paths, making their way across his skin. He didn't say anything.   
"Your five minutes is up!" Madame Pomfrey's voice drifted into the room.   
"Please, just five more," Ron called back pleadingly.   
"She needs her rest!" the stout, plump nurse made her way into the room, a mask of deadly determination spreading across her   
face.   
"Please, Madame Pomfrey, just five more minutes. Just five more," I whispered. She looked at me for a few seconds, nodded, then   
left the room. I sighed, almost silently. I looked up at him, startled by how beautiful he was. A rosy blush spread across his cheeks,   
making his freckles flicker on and off. And his gorgeous red hair splayed out across his fore head. . . I sighed again, looking down.   


***   
I sat in the Slytherin common room, tapping my quill against the glass table top and thinking. This whole room was so suffocating. I   
needed to get out and see her again. I could bet anyone that she was in the hospital wing, reclining on a soft white bed, peacefully   
slumbering. Forgetting. About last night. I stood up and left.   


***   
"Y'know, Hermione," Ron began, taking a deep breath, his face reddening even further, "sometimes. . . sometimes I look at you."   
"Oh," I said, my head clouding over with confusion, "Sometimes, I look at you, too."   
"No. . . I mean, I really LOOK at you. I notice. . ." he was being very daring, "I notice everything. Like, what you wear everyday. I've   
memorized it."   
"Ron, I wear my school uniform every day," I giggled.   
"Please!" he cried, "don't make this harder for me!"   
"I'm sorry," I said, almost inaudibly, "I know what you're going to--"   
"Hush!" he begged, stopping my mouth with his. A kiss. . . in other words.

***   
"Hush!" Ron said. Wait a minute. . . what had I walked in on. . . ? Something twisted and crazy. Something that should definitely not be   
happening. A certain red-headed weasel bent over, kissing a brown haired angel. Passionatley kissing, actually, a brown haired angel,   
his hands traveling up and down that angel's crumbling body, exporing the cages made by bones grazing beneath skin.   
"Get off of her, you sick bastard!" I yelled, running up to him, and prying his body off hers. He fell to the ground, a mass of bones,   
muscle, and sinew making a gentle thud.   
"I'm gonna beat the shit outta you," I yelled, towering over him.   
"Go screw yourself, you dumbass," he hissed back, getting up, matching my height. He was about to throw a punch, but was   
interrupted by her voice.   
"You guys shut up and stop it," she said, her voice almost reaching a yell.   
"Why the hell did you let him kiss you?" my eyes narrowed with hate as I looked her direction.

***   
"Why the hell did you let him kiss you?" he barked.   
"What's so wrong about kissing her? She's not spoken for or whatever," Ron said, the last "whatever" making his sentance sound   
incredibly stupid.   
"What the hell do you mean, 'she's not spoken for'? I almost took her fucking virginty last night!" Draco exploded.   
"You wish, man," Ron answered. He looked over to me, his eyes searching again.   
"He didn't, Hermione, did he?" his voice trembled.   
"Well, I, ugh, actually--" I began.   
"Did he??" he repeated, this time more intensley. My head spun, and I wasn't quite sure why Madame Pomfrey wasn't hearing any of   
this. Why wasn't she coming in here and breaking all of this up?? I wanted to scream.   
"Talk, god dammit!" Ron yelled.   
"Shut UP! Don't tell me to fucking talk! I'll talk when I want to!" I got up, suddenly surprised by my own harsh language. I didn't even   
know that I knew any of those words.   
"I'm. . . I'm sorry," Ron said. He crawled over to me and wrapped his arms around my waist, pressing me up to him, softly whispering   
slurred apologies over and over in my ear.   
"Don't just let him hold you like that! You're mine!" Draco's eyes became cold and brutal. He waited for a few minutes, but when I   
didn't make any indication for Ron to go away, he walked up to me, and slapped me hard on the cheek. I was sure that his hand was   
imprinited there, red and glaring. Tears jumped to my eyes.   
"Draco. . . Draco, please. Please," I whispered, pushed away from Ron, and made my way into Draco's arms, his head falling over mine, white blonde hair mingling with honey brown.   



	7. Blood and Tears

I pushed her away. I didn't want her near me. I didn't want to feel the heat of her flesh, the knives of her bones, the valleys of curves. That lying, cheating bitch. I wanted to kick her, to hit her over and over so that her white skin was caked with blood.   
"Get away from me," I hissed, narrowing my eyes and grimacing. I pushed her so that she fell to the ground.   
"Draco," she pleaded, trying to get near me.   
"You whore. I don't want you to touch me. I don't want to see you. I don't ever want to speak to you again," I shoved her away.   
"Please," she begged, wrapping her arms around my legs, "don't say things like that. Don't scare me."   
"I'm serious. Get off of me," I said, my voice a harsh whisper.   
She finally loosened her grip and let go. I looked down at her, and noticed the way her lips were so red. I tore my gaze away and walked out the door.   
*** 

"Ron," I gasped, my tears freezing in my eyes, "Ron." He rushed to me without hesitation, his two bruised arms wrapping around me.   
"That stupid idiot," his lips pressed against mine, and his tongue began to slide into my mouth.   
"You're so stupid," I sighed after he broke the kiss.   
"You liked it though, didn't you?" he grinned.   
"You're so STUPID," I felt like hitting him.   
"Here," he stretched out his hand to me. I took it and he pulled me up.   
"I'll carry you piggy-back," he hunched down so that I could climb onto him. Before I knew it, I was being carried out of the Hospital wing like a small child.   
*** 

I was practically mute all day. I just floated from class to class, barley breathing. Barley alive. Damn that Granger. That mudblood. That wench. I wanted to break all her bones, to crush her rose petal mouth. I had actually began to like her. To trust her. To warm up to her.   
"Damn," I sighed, burying my head in my hands.   
*** 

"Ron, do you promise promise promise you won't tell anyone about this? Not even Harry?" I whispered to Ron before we entered potions.   
"Yeah. Not even Harry. But, still. Malfoy? I mean, how could you? He's a slimy, stupid, great big prat," he leaned in on me, looking into my eyes.   
"Don't mention his name," I sighed, "not even his last."   
I was dreading potions. I was dreading Draco with his golden hair and gray eyes and bleached skin. I didn't want to have to look at him. To have to hear his soft footsteps against a cold, stone floor. I felt like sinking into the wall.   
*** 

I saw her leaning against the wall of the dungeons, talking to Ron privately. My heart beat against my chest. I felt as if it were going to explode. 

***   
"D'you think I should talk to him?" I asked Ron, watching Draco out of the corner of my eye. He walked over to Crabbe and Goyle, his back slouched, his eyes lacking luster and emotion.   
"No! He's a slimy git!" Ron scowled. I glanced in the lanky boy's direction, heaving a long, depressed sigh.   
*** 

"Even though your potions are finished, you will need to spend one more day with your partner," Snape drawled. I almost gasped, but subsided my surprise. One more day with that Granger girl. One more day watching her delicate, graceful fingers sort ingredients, scribble notes, twirl hair. Even though she was a cheating bitch, she was still beautiful. And I had still more than kissed her.   
*** 

I inched over to Draco's desk, finally reaching it, and sitting down almost silently. He didn't even acknowledge my presence. I wanted to crumple up into a heap of robes and hair and skin and just cry.   
"You will be writing a paper with your partner about the silence potion. Now, children, get to work," Snape instructed. I sighed, took out a quill, and a roll of parchment. I set them both on the table and waited for him to say something. Anything.   
*** 

She waited, her hands folded in her lap. I didn't know what she was waiting for. She was just. . . waiting.   
"Let's start on this, Granger," I said acidly. For a fleeting moment she looked as if she would cry, but she didn't. I almost felt sorry for her. But I reminded myself that she kissed that Weasel. That made anger pulse through my veins.   
*** 

Snow turned to sleet turned to rain. I ran towards the lake, my hat flying off my head. I didn't care. My hair came out of its messy pony tail. I didn't care. All I knew is that I had to run. My robes billowed around my legs, and the grass was long, sleek, and muddy. Thorns cut my arms and neck, branches grabbed at my hair, but all that I could think about was getting to the rock at the edge of the lake. And just. . . sitting.   
*** 

I looked out the window of the Slytherin common room, surveying the dark grounds of Hogwarts. Nothing moved. Except. . . the grass rustling, a hat flying, hair ripping through the wind. Finally, the dark figure stopped tearing through the slushy mess of plants. Right at the edge of the lake. It climbed onto the rock and sat there. Even though couldn't see her face, I knew it was her. Granger. Hermione.   
Maybe I would go to her and teach that bitch a lesson. I got up, and walked out of the common room.   
*** 

So, now that I was sitting, I didn't know what to do. Or why I was even there. Out of despair and depression and angst, I buried my head in my hands, but no tears came. Just dry, heaving sobs. I hated him so much for making me trust him. For him kissing me like that. I finally looked up, to see the full moon, blurred through tears.   
*** 

I just watched her back for a couple of minutes. She was hunched in such a way that I guessed her head was in her hands. Her hair was strewn across her back, twigs and leaves tangled in it. The moon shown brightly, bathing her in glossy light. I clambered onto the rock so quietly that she heard nothing. Now was the time to do it. I grabbed her and she screamed, whipping around and trying to free herself, but my hold on her was too powerful.   
*** 

I whirled around, my breath catching in my throat. It was him. The moon illuminated his hair and skin, making him look like an iridescent sprite. I tried to pull away, but I couldn't. His arms were firmly around my waist. "Lemmie go, Malfoy!" I spluttered, trying once again to break free. I had forgotten we were on a rock and that there was limited space. I had moved too much. We rolled off the rock and into the edge of the lake. He had ended up on top of me. I held my breath, neither one of us caring that we were sodden with freezing lake water.   
*** 

We rolled into the lake, its wintry water splashing against both our bodies. She was beneath me, rigid with fright and the coldness of the air and the water and my emotion. My hands fumbled around until they found her wrists. I grabbed them raised them to her chest.   
"Draco," she moaned, tears running down her cheeks. Two strands of wet hair stuck to the side of her face, their darkness contrasting harshly with the whiteness of her skin. She began to tremble, her whole body sent into a spasm of violent shivers.   
"Shut your mudblood mouth, Granger," I whispered harshly into her ear, making sure to accent every one of my words. I let one of her wrists drop, and my free hand went to push aside her robes.   
*** 

When he began taking off my robes. That's when I stopped crying. I refused to cry. I didn't know why I didn't push him away. Why I couldn't. Why I didn't want to. Finally, the robes were thrown aside, riveled and wet. My sweater and loose jeans stuck to my body because of their dampness.   
He didn't say anything, just slide his hand into my shirt. I looked up at him, suddenly gathering enough sense to bring my free hand to his shoulder and push him away. His hand slid down my stomach, and finally, out of my sweater.   
The night was still. The lake was hushed, its surface velvety black. The dark forest lay a ways a way, unusually silent. Grass shuddered around us, blowing into our hair, sticking to our wet bodies. The pearly moon hid behind an angry cloud. I held my breath, not wanting to disturb the mystery of the night.   
"Mmm," I murmured as my hand went to his head and rested there, playing with tendrils of his mellifluous hair.   
**** 

She brought her hand up to my hair, securing a lock of it and twirling it in between two thin, long fingers. I wanted to thrust her hand away, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. She just looked up at me, sighing, her eyes staring at my lips.   
"What do you want me to do, Granger?" I whispered threateningly, leaning down on her, "What do you want me to do? Maybe take off your sweater, then your jeans, slowly unclasp your bra, play with the straps of your silky underwear?"   
"I don't want you to do anything," she said simply, her hand traveling down my neck, "I don't want you to touch me."   
I pulled her up, so that her body was pressed against mine, our clothes making a sickening squishing sound of dripping wet fabric being crushed together. And I just held her there. Trembling. My hand glided onto her back, beneath her sweater. I buried my fingernails in her skin, my hand slicking down again, blood, like tears, running down her skin.

A/N   
***my darling readers! hi everyone! i actually wrote this fast! well, well, well.. the next chapter will be the last. for reals for reals for really really reals. how did u like this one? tell me all about it and if u have any ideas for the last chapter, please submit them! i just wanted to say thanks for all the nice reviews and thanks for even bothering to read my little story. after i'm done with this one u guys tell me if i should write another fic! and tell me what pairing do you want. . . i was toying with the idea of doing draco/ginny. . . ? maybe? yes? no? or tell me if i should do another draco/hermione fic! u guys, just review, k? it makes me sad when u don't!! do it!!!!! okay.. heehee!! luv ya tonz tonz tonz!!! ;) ~~~the author, maya 


	8. Or Just. . . Infatuated

finchap I wanted to push him away, to stop him from hurting me. I could feel the blood slicking down my back. I shivered.   
"Let go," I mumbled, "Let me go right--" But I couldn't finish my sentence. His mouth was all ready on mine, his teeth gently biting my lips. My hands were limp, hanging at my sides. I didn't know whether to wrap them around his neck, or leave them there. My eyes closed slowly, and I surrendered.   
"What were you doing?" Ron yelled, the minute I had walked into the common room. He had obviously stayed up waiting for me. I glanced at the clock, reading two. I sighed, annoyed, and threw myself onto a couch.   
"Nothing," I lied.   
"What were you doing with Malfoy?" he questioned again, this time with a bit more emphasis on the 'what were you doing'.   
"Nothing," I muttered again, clutching the wet robes against my ribs.   
"God dammit, Hermione! You were with the slimy git again! That abusive son of a bitch!" Ron spat.   
"He's abusive, but he's mine," I whispered, thinking of his crushing hold, his fingernails digging into my neck.   
"I can't believe you," Ron sat next to me, his body pressed against mine.   
"I need to go to sleep, Ron," I sighed harshly, getting up, and leaving.   
***

I lay my head down on the pillow, thinking of nothing but her blood, sticky and warm against my fingers. It was like an unspoken promise. Something sacred that she had given me. Rivers of life. It was like a deal was proposed with one violent fall, and sealed with an even more violent kiss.   
I guess you could call me sick. Or evil. Or just. . . infatuated.   
***

I only had to look at him once at breakfast to realize that he wanted. To go to the library. This early in the morning? I sighed, getting up, abandoning my cold toast and orange marmalade. I guess you could call me hopeless. Or stupid. Or just. . . infatuated.   
***

I didn't wait till we got in the library. I grabbed her in the middle of the lonely corridor, pushing her up against the stony wall.   
"D'you want me or not?" I asked. I looked at the curls falling gently across her shoulders, her eyes masked by heavy lashes. I did something very much unusual for me. But I prayed. For her to say that she did.   
***

I didn't know what to answer.   
"No," I gasped. He was crushing chest. He looked at me with gray, penetrating eyes.   
"Yes," I tried again. I knew it was the truth. On account of my voice didn't tremble.   
"Oh God, are you sure?" he asked, almost breathless with relief. His hands were crushing my wrists, but his eyes were soft.   
"Yes," I trembled.   
"Oh God," he said again. He looked stunned, a lock of flaxen hair falling over his eyes. I brushed it away, smiling slightly.   
***

She tucked away a strand of my hair, throwing a careless smile on her face. I smiled back. And I finished it by taking her up in my arms, and pressing my lips to hers.   
***

He ended it all with a kiss. Just like he had begun it. . . . well, I couldn't remember. Was it? I grinned.   


END~

A/N: well, this is the end, my friends. The end, the end. sooooo.. did u like it?? did u?? u guys tell me what pairing u want for my next fic! please review.. i knew the ending was short, but it took me forever to write, which is weird!! but u guys review!! please! thanks so much for all the nice reviews, though.. i'm really happy that u guys like it.. thanks so much again!! luv u all!! ;)   
  
  
  



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